aaaahhhh.... Thailand.....

So many people seemed genuinely happy for me when I said that I would be going to Thailand for 10 days before flying in to the land which I refer to as home. I wasn't so excited. You see, this will be holiday/conference/extended stop over number 8 (!) in Thailand. 

I kinda just wanted to get back into teaching, to (my) kids, to my house, to cheap living and to the cold... ok so I'm not so excited about the cold. I wanted my normal routine back again... which is really saying something! Usually, the idea of routine and general organisation kinda grosses me out. What can I say, I'm an ENFP to the core. Give me a week and I'll be dreading the routine and all the organisation that it requires of me. 

Don't you just love it when they ask "would you be willing to help people in an emergency?" (for those who don't fly that much it's code for *you're tall and we can see that you are on your way to Pakistan so we're going to be nice and give you a seat with way more leg room and no one else next to you*). I haven't been bumped up to business class before but that was almost better! So after 2 great flights, a good night sleep in a cheap but decent hotel and my usual trip to the 7/11 to stock up on cheap toiletries and interesting baked goods I was ready to head to the airport to meet up with dear Tracey.

After an eventful trip back with lots of crazy flood affected roads we arrived at Tracey's university. We ate a yummy yet rushed lunch of bbq chicken an rice and then arrived to her class about 20minutes late. The students didn’t seem phased by this at all... gotta love Asian timing, or lack thereof! 

The lesson begun with an interview - the kids (around 20y/o) had to practice their English by asking me a question each. I was wondering how long it would take for them to ask. They fired them away immediately "how old are you?" "do you have a boyfriend?" "are you married?". So amusing. 

After class we went to another room to see if anyone would turn up for "English club". I was more than slightly excited by this prospect. Tracey has begun this initiative to help students practice conversational English and to create a forum for discussion on a wide range of topics. I don't think it's going as planned but it's definitely 'going'. 

We were standing around waiting for kids to come. Then we got into a debate about the pointlessness of gong to Uni (what can I say, I have a $45,000 student loan and the likelihood of getting a good job when I return in June because of the piece of paper is fairly slim) - in the heat of the debate in walk 9 students. They asked me the same questions but then they got onto more serious things. It seems last week 2 of them came and Tracey shared the story of creation. They were eager for more. They had so many questions "how do you pray to your God?" "Why do you believe in your God and not in Bhuddism?" "I want to know about other religions because it's important... I have so many questions"... These are the kind of questions that I live for! It was fun to be able to communicate basic answers to these questions together. Tracey then showed the next part of the DVD - the creation of Man (as in men and women... not just men.... silly TNIV) and 'the fall' - the forbidden fruit looked amazing in this DVD... I would have eaten it, too. 

It was played in English and Thai. Some of them laughed.... the scene where Adam is literally created out of "the dust of the earth" is pretty ... interesting. Thankfully they didn't show eve being made from Adam's rib. 

The next scene is what hit them, and me. It's Adam in the desert without God after being banished from the Garden of Eden. The contrast is amazing. He is completely distraught. In total shock and can't believe what he has done. I really felt for him. Then I remembered what it was like for me. It was kind of the opposite. Mending my relationship with God was like entering the Garden of Eden for the first time. Adam didn't realise what he had in the Garden of Eden, he had nothing to compare it to. He was told if he ate it he “would surely die”.... but it’s not like anyone else had actually died before! He didn't really know what he would be missing out on by eating that forbidden fruit. He was deceived into thinking that life after eating that fruit would be better. It was the same for me. I had no other life to compare mine to. I had been deceived into thinking that life without God, life outside the Garden of Eden, was better. But I had never experienced the Garden of Eden, so how was I to know? The difference is Adam was told to never experience the other life, the life without God. He was told this by God Himself. I guess I was told, though somewhat indirectly, that life without God was better. I, like so many, thought that Christianity was a bunch of rules and going to church on Sunday.

When my relationship with God was mended, it was like entering the Garden of Eden. I can look back and see how completely distraught I was without God. I, like Adam, didn’t know what the other life would be like. Only when I look back, I’m saddened to think that I lived 19 years believing a lie, living in darkness. I thought I was fine; I was going through the motions of life like everyone else. I was not fine. And there are still moments where I'm not fine. Life is not perfect.... it's just about a thousand times better than it was before. And it's not even about me or my life in the end. It's about God, it's about believing in the truth and honouring God as creator and saviour and a hundred other things. It's about resting in and trusting in a God that has everything under control and is the definition of love.  

Just to let you know, the 'Garden of Eden' rocks. Don't be deceived into thinking that it doesn't.  

To sum it all up, I am super excited about being in Thailand again! I'm really looking forward to conference starting tonight. I'm looking forward to hearing about how other people's lives are in their Garden of Eden.

Pakistan really is a Garden of Eden if you walk through it with God. 

Pleasantly surprised

Prior to coming home to NZ I wasn't all that excited about it. Not completely. I mean, I was looking forward to a glass of wine, cheese, steak, seafood, wearing a dress, people following the road rules and going for long walks in the sunshine. I was excited about being able to buy new shoes that fit my size 11.5 feet, jeans that were long enough and shirts that weren't covered in sparkles. If you have lived in a developing country long enough you know what I'm talking about.

However, as you all know... I am a people person. What I really needed wasn't the nice food, the relaxing atmosphere or even the shoes. What I really needed to do was to spend time with friends and family.

Prior to coming back I asked other staff members at MCS what it was like for them the first time they returned home. I wanted to know what to expect, what did 'reverse culture shock' feel like? Did people change that much? Do people even really want to hear about what you are doing? Do kids remember you?

I asked many these questions, and they all seemed to have the same answers. They found it hard to fit in with their own culture, I was advised to be prepared to make new friends because most of theirs had moved on, I was told that it would be awkward and that no one would ask me about Pakistan, that they wouldn't know what to ask and may not really want to know. That everyone at home is still materialistic and shallow and that they all have new houses and fancy cars.

Is the picture in your imagination as bleak as mine?

I was pretty disappointed, though I guess not that shocked. So I did prepare. I prepared to make new friends, I prepared for reverse culture shock, I prepared for the lack of interest and disengagement, the feeling of not fitting in and new cars, homes and extravagance to hit me in the face.

Turns out all of that preparation wasn't necessary.

Upon my arrival I was blessed to find my friends and family eagerly awaiting my return. They asked many questions, prayed, encouraged and offered hospitality. I was met by children asking me to pick them up and hug them and farewelled by children who said they would miss me. I love New Zealand and felt at home straight away, it wasn't awkward at all. I was not slapped in the face with materialism; the New Zealand economy is struggling, too. I was encouraged to see many friends still living a simple life - there were no new cars, fancy houses or big flat screen T.Vs. If anything, the sales got the best of MY materialism.

Thank you to everyone who made coming home to easy - I look forward to seeing you all again soon!

Oranges!

"Oranges!!" the kids exclaimed with glee as they saw what was on the dessert table at dinner last night. They ran over and had to be told to take only one to begin with so that everyone could taste the delicious treat. 'Treat?' you may ask.

I'm sitting here thinking about your possible reactions. Some of you may be concerned, are we under feeding the kids so much so that they should be excited about oranges? No. Some of you may be wondering whether the school is so poor that we can't afford fruit. While that may be true for many families in Pakistan it is not true for MCS. Are we teaching them that oranges are some kind of super fruit where by eating them they will gain straight As? No!

I think of my dad who used to tell me that he would get an orange for Christmas. I remember being confused - and I don't think I quite believed him. I'm sure you can understand why. Oranges are available all year round in New Zealand... in most 'western' countries, in fact. We eat our own in the winter, and we eat oranges from California in the summer. I don't think I even really liked them when I was a kid. I preferred mandarins. Oranges and apples were too common - I remember being excited by chocolate and candy. Granted, the kids here also get excited by chocolate and candy. The difference is that chocolate and candy are available year round. Oranges are not.


It was so nice to see the kids excited about oranges. It's nice that I can get excited about oranges, too. There's just something...natural about eating what's in season. The fruit and vege here honestly does taste better.

As requested...

...the blog has begun! Due to my lack of newsletter writing convictions, frustrating postal services and peer pressure (!) you will now have the option of reading my thoughts/rants/raves on my life in Pakistan. I do not in any way claim to be a 'writer' but I hope the stories help you to get a glimpse of life here - the joys and struggles alike! 

Tonight I am sitting in my cold flat... I'm going to estimate it's at around 10 degrees. The 'central heating' (I can assure you our definitions of central heating are vastly different) isn't working for some reason and I have run out of kerosene for my other heater... however I have lit some candles and I am looking at two bunches of roses - one yellow, one red - sitting on my cabinet. They cost me a total of 450 rupees... that's about $7 NZD not bad for two dozen roses eh? Well.... 450 rupees is a lot but I always convert the amount into NZD if I want to make myself feel better about purchasing something. I'm slowly getting out of the habit. Lets just say living here makes me feel guilty for spending money, and at other times it makes it easier. For example; If I were a man, I would be able to go to the bazaar and get a hot meal, with meat for about 150 rupees. That's a little over $2. Some of the 'mens' restaurants have 'family rooms'. A family room is down the back of the restaurant behind a curtain. Since we are usually a group of young, single and not to mention foreign women they are not ideal places to eat despite their tasty local flavours and favorable prices. So, we frequent places that other westerners and rich Pakistanis do. I hate it because they serve exactly the same dishes for 3 or 4 times the price. This is the part where I feel a little on the guilty side. Then I get to the western part of the menu that these upper-class restaurants always have. And I see that a steak meal works out to be around $10NZD. And then I think "I'd be stupid not to order one!" Guilt gone and stomach full. Clearly, steak is the answer.